Friday, October 17, 2014

Someone call the tooth fairy and ask for treats instead of money!

I lost a tooth! Then I found it and then I tried to eat it! Last night I was sitting on the couch chewing on Dad's very itchy wool blanket when it snagged my tooth and popped it out! I didn't really notice until I started searching for something to eat and found it. So I grabbed it and started chewing on it. Mom asked Dad what I was eating. Dad then stuck his yucky fingers in my mouth and found my tooth. If Mom would actually feed me, I wouldn't be forced to eat my own teeth! No one put it under my pillow so I didn't get any treats from the tooth fairy.
     That Bastille is really crazy. Not only does he steal all my toys, jump all over me and eat my food, but he eats his teeth! When my teeth fell out I didn't even notice and swallowed them all! I didn't let Mom and Dad get their hands on them.  I will admit that it is horrifying when Dad sticks his fingers in your mouth.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

My busy week of being called mean names by MOM

I have had a busy week of Mom being mean and making fun of me! (mean names highlighted for your convenience) First of all , she decided that I was a cuckoo. When she opens my crate in the morning, I come out cautiously-you never know what could be lurking outside-Mecki, Dad, other scary things. So I pop out of the crate a couple of times. First I stick my head out, then scoot back in, then I'll put my front paws out to test the waters and scoot back in. After a couple of tries where nothing has attacked me, I'll come all the way out ( or if a treat is involved, I will pop right out). Mom commented to Dad that I was like the cuckoo in a cuckoo clock and it was like 8:00 according to how many times I popped in and out. I thought that was quite rude! Patience is a virtue (except when food is involved!).
     A couple of days later, she came up with another nickname, Little Piggy. Just cause I am constantly starving (cause she won't give me more than 1 cup of food a day!!!!), is no reason to resort to name calling. She had put me in my pen in the kitchen and I had devoured my food (and in yet another rude thing to do, Mom put a bone shaped toy in my food bowl and pours the food around it, so I can't just vacuum it up, I have to push the bone around to get to food! Mom thinks this slows down my eating) and I was still starving. So when Mom left the room, I climbed out of my pen and ran into the living room. I pushed Mecki away from his bowl (he's never hungry anyway) and ate his food. Mom came out and found me and yelled at me! She put me back in my pen and refilled Mecki's bowl. Then she went to take the garbage out and I escaped again! Guess where she found me? Yup, on my third breakfast. This is why there is now a gate and two chairs surrounding my pen, plus the kitchen gate is up so that even when I escape, I cannot leave the kitchen!
     Ok, now for the meanest name of all. Mom said I looked like a very Fat Frog! But then she changed it to a Fat Toad to be more PC. Hello!!!! I am a French Bulldog! The term Frog is a very mean term for French people!!!! This just shows the extreme meanness of Mom. She called me this after watching my method of escape. Basically, I jump up and stick my front paws over the wood and hold myself up. (this is when Mom says I look like a Fat Frog. Then I kick maniacally with my back feet until I can pop over the top. See below:
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 I got Mom back however. I was sitting on her lap, licking her, luring her into a false sense of security and then all of a sudden, I chomped on her chin!
      I don't feel sorry for Bastille at all! He deserves all those names! He steals all my toys (and won't share his), eats my food (and doesn't give me any of his, and even tries to take stuff out of my mouth!), and is overall quite naughty. Unlike me.
     

 

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Revenge

Saturday was a pretty horrible day in our house. Bastille was in his pen and I was relaxing in the living room when I noticed that Dad seemed to be on a mission. All of a sudden he grabbed me and brought me into the bathroom. Being that the bathroom is generally off limits, being suddenly invited into it can only mean one thing. A BATH! As you well know (if you read my blog), I am NOT a big fan of water-except for drinking, ice cubes and snow. I had spent a great deal of time perfecting my smell. I had been digging holes in the backyard with Bastille, rolling around with Bastille and generally insuring that I smelled great. Well Dad put an end to that. He put me in the bathtub and used the medicated soap. That made the bath last even longer. First I have to have shampoo on me for 10 minutes, then a rinse, then 10 minutes of conditioning. It was horrible. When Dad finally let me out, I wandered sadly into the kitchen, completely depressed. That only lasted a minute though, cause I saw Dad going over to Bastille who he grabbed and brought into the bathroom. Hurrah I thought , at least the little monster will suffer too!
And suffer I did! Mecki had told me all about baths, and Mom had stuck me in the sink for a bath once! They are horrible! I thought I smelled quite good. Mecki had drooled on me a lot and I had been digging and rolling in the backyard, so I was not quite so white as before. Dad tossed me in the bathtub and gave me a bath with puppy soap! Then  he put me in the kitchen with Mecki to dry off. This is when we plotted our revenge. Or mostly I plotted while Mecki listened. And our revenge took place yesterday and was glorious!
    Yesterday, Dad came home at lunch to fix the back door. He took the chair that Mom put by my pen (which stops me from jumping out-yes, I CAN climb over 2ft high walls with ease!). He sat on the chair to fix the door, then let us play outside for a while. When he left, he forgot to a) put the chair back and b) put up the kitchen gate! Success is mine, I barked, or as Mom says quacked, to Mecki as I clambered out of my pen. Mecki and I spend the entire afternoon playing in the living room and hallway. I drank all of Mecki's water and then watered the floor. I also ate Mecki's food. When we  heard Dad's key in the door, we both ran over to say hi. Wasn't he surprised! Mom came home a few minutes later, she was NOT amused.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Monster Puppy

Bastille is still being a little monster but Mom is trying to get him to stop biting me. Mom has a routine in the morning now which works out well. I get to come out of my crate first and go downstairs with Mom. We go out for a walk and Mom prepares the food and water. It's nice and peaceful. But then it ends. Mom goes and puts up the fence blocking my route upstairs. She goes upstairs and releases the krakken (aka Bastille). Now that he knows how to come down the stairs, I'm glad Mom puts up the fence-although he did knock it over on me one morning. Mom took some videos.
videoHere I am running upstairs after my 9:30pm walk! I am much faster than Mecki!

videoThis is what happens when I can get out of my crate in the morning. First Mom grabs me and stuffs me into my harness. Then I am free to fly downstairs at warp speed! Once I went so fast that I knocked the fence down on Mecki-he was very grumpy about it.
Then once the fence is gone, I zip past Mecki and try to hurl myself into the pen to get to my food (since Mom does NOT feed me enough)
Here is Mecki getting revenge for all the time I chomp on his ears.

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Monday, September 15, 2014

Just wait until I gain 15 more pounds!

Mecki better watch out! Every day I'm getting bigger and soon he won't be able to stomp all over me! Here are some movies of us having fun!
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Bastille seems to be getting bigger every day! I think it is because he is always trying to steal my food. In fact he is always trying to steal everything that I am playing with! It is quite rude! Plus he gets way to angry about being squashed! He needs to learn that he is the 2nd puppy, not the 1st  like me!
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Tuesday, September 2, 2014

And when I was bad, I was very very bad...

I have been a very bad puppy this weekend-at least according to Mom. Although you couldn't tell by looking at me, I am that cute and cuddly!
 Here is what I did:
1. discovered that I can completely shred and rip to pieces all the newspaper in my pen. Mom said she  might rent me out as a shredder!
2. Stole a carrot and a piece of apple from Mecki's bowl, with no regrets!
3. Created a new game called "I'm not touching you!". I play this when Mecki is chilling out and not gnawing on my appendages. I run towards him but swerve off at the last minute. I do this continuously until he gets annoyed and chases me and chomps on my appendages.
4. I attacked Mecki ferociously after taunting him into chasing me and bit him in the ear.
5. I followed Mecki around and tried to take food out of his mouth and grabbed every toy he was playing with so he didn't have anything. Then I munched on his antler!
6. I stood on the couch and "barked" at Mecki and tried to bite him when he tried to jump up.
Also apparently, Mecki complained to Mom about me living in the penthouse and I got evicted! Now my crate is on the floor by Dad's side of the bed. I don't have to listen to Mecki whine anymore, but Dad snores really loud! Mom made me come out of my crate on my own, without dragging me. When we come upstairs from our nighttime outings, she puts me on the floor and I run right into my crate!

It has been a very long weekend. First of all I was sick this morning due to the fact that I steal Bastille's crocodile whenever I can and ate an appendage. That did not agree with me.  Plus Bastille has been very very rude this weekend. I spend a great deal of time trying to teach him a lesson or two by chewing on his appendages! But he is very feisty and bites back! Plus he steals all my toys so I don't feel bad about grabbing the crocodile! At least Mom listened to me and moved him. He kept me awake with all his bouncing and cardboard shredding above me.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Outside 2 times this morning!

Last night Mom and Dad went out and didn't come home until very late. I was very sad and didn't even eat my dinner until I heard the key turn in the kitchen door! Then I ran to my bowl and munched. Sadly, there was no play time, only a walk and right on up to bed.
  This morning however, Mom must have felt bad. She let Bastille and I play outside twice this morning! It was a lot of fun as I bounced all over Bastille!

I can't wait until I am bigger and can bounce all over Mecki! We were playing outside and Mom called us over. I wasn't going to stop playing until I saw she had the snack bag! Mecki and I ran over and we got treats! I tried to jump up and eat Mecki's treats but Mom said "NO"  and pushed me back down. Here are some videos of me attacking Mecki.
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