So happy that I'm super naughty!

I am so happy to be back in my rightful home that I have gone out of my way to be super naughty! This morning I stole 2 of Mom's socks, one of her slippers and tried to get Dad's flipflop! This afternoon when my Grandpere and my Grandpa came over I jumped all over them. Then while they were watching tv, I causually sauntered past Mom and grabbed Grandpa's initial hat (FCB-for his initials and for Football Club Barcelona!). Mom had to chase me into the kitchen to get it back. Then she locked me in the kitchen. It was totally worth it!

I'm going home!

Finally Mom and Dad let me into the bedroom. They didn't really mean to. Mom was bringing a rug inside and put my gate down in the kitchen so she could get through. I followed Mom and the rug up the stairs! In fact, I beat her! The bedroom door was open and Dad was in there so I ran right in. I don't know what they did but it is super slippery up there now! They took away the carpet! Now there is nothing for my claws to catch on. I went sliding around. Then I jumped on the rug Mom put on the floor. She was pulling on it so I went for a ride and then tried to bite the rug. Then the loud and noisy vaccuum cleaner came out , so I chased that around. It is only 10AM but I am already exhausted! My crate is back though. I went inside to make sure everything was tidy and then howled (my seal of approval!) Dad said I was making satisfied little sighs but I don't believe him!

2 Noisy days

Mom says that I am noisy. But I have just been subjected to 2 noisy days! There has been a man in the house, making a lot of noise upstairs and running up and down the stairs!  And he only had time to give me 1 belly rub! And I even ran over to the gate (Mom put up a gate to block me from the stairs and front door) and barked so that he would know I was here every time he went up and down!

Cat?

Yesterday was really weird. I was snoozing in the kitchen (trying to catch up on sleep as I have not been sleeping well at all) when Mom came in and got me. We went out to the driveway and I thought we would get into her car! I was excited cause I love car trips! But no, she made me go into the garage! I'm never allowed in the garage! I ran in and schnuffled around-so many smells! But mostly the horrible odor of tabasco sauce! I HATE that smell! Dad told me to find the cat. I don't know what a cat is so I couldn't find one. Apparently there is a cat in the garage and Dad does not like this! Mom told me that she and Dad opened all the windows and the door and tried to chase out the cat , but it wouldn't leave! Mom thinks it might have kittens in there. I don't know what a kitten is either! Finally Mom and Dad didn't hear anything so they thought the cat escaped. But no, this morning Mom saw it sunning itself in the window (taunting Dad!).
    Later that night, Mom sat on the couch and turned on the tv. That is my clue that I can bug her and get a treat. Usually when she sits down I sit in front of her and bark and bite her pants! This makes her mad and she tries to lure me into the kitchen with a treat! (This only works if she isn't smart enough to keep my leash attached so she can catch me!). Mom went into the kitchen and got a biscuit but then she put it in the enormous kong that Grandma bought me! This was at 8:00pm. I fought with that kong until she dragged me outside at 9:45pm. I jumped on it, barked at it, drooled in it, chewed on it, cried pitifully at it cause my jaws hurt, but I still couldn't get that other half of the biscuit out! Mom gave me another biscuit when I went upstairs since I had tried so hard to get the one in the kong.

No sleep in the new room

This whole move has been very stressful for me. Here I am stuck in my crate in a new place. I can't see Mom anymore and blankets keep falling in front of my crate! It is very scary. Due to this I have not been getting any good sleep at night. Neither has Mom, cause I keep her awake with my whimpering until
Dad comes up, then he takes over and keeps her awake with his snoring.
    Because of this extreme lack of sleep, my motor skills have become impaired. Only this morning, I was coming up the front walk with Mom and decided to jump two steps in one. Only I didn't have enough energy to make it to the second step. Instead, I crashed chest first into the step. Mom was rude enough to laugh-so I have her the fish eye of disgust!

Room change

Last night was very strange. Mom took me out for my last walk and then we went upstairs-just like normal. But then it got weird! We didn't go into the bedroom! And we didn't go into AT's room! We went into the middle room-and my condo was there! I ran in and got my cookie, but everything was different and strange! There were weird noises (Mom got up and took down the clock and put it in AT's room), and I felt strange so I kept crying. Mom was annoyed and yelled at me. We all finally fell asleep after a couple of hours.
  Today was great though. My Grandpa came over and I got to sit with him on the couch! Mom took some videos!

Dad is funny

I like Dad again. He did something very funny last night. Mom was lying on the couch and I was lying on her chewing on my antler and drooling all over her. Dad came over and tried to make Mom look like the sheepdog. Dad and I thought that was very funny! We laughed a lot. Mom was not amused. In fact , in revenge she took my antler away! She said that I needed a break from it, but Dad and I know she was just mad. I was forced to play with squeaky toys and my last bit of rope toy for the rest of the night,

Dad is starting to act like Mom!

Last night, Dad surpassed Mom in his meanness! I was sitting on Mom's lap, gnawing on my antler (and as an added bonus, drooling on her leg and smearing antler paste all over her pants) , minding my own business. Suddenly I felt something brushing me. I looked over my shoulder but it just looked like Dad's hand. It felt funny though. I looked around again and saw there was a brush attached! That made me mad. There is nothing worse than sneaky brushing! First of all , I like being scruffy! Secondly, I like hiding behind my hair-that way Mom and Dad can't tell what I'm looking at. Thirdly, I DID NOT ask to be brushed. I started squirming but Dad grabbed me and brushed away. I looked down at the brush and it had almost a whole dog full of hair on it! Mom wasn't very helpful. She took photos and laughed! I tried to bite the brush but I got Dad instead (and I almost wasn't sorry) but then he stuck his hand in my mouth! He is so mean!

Look what Dad did! He brushed all my eyebrow and muzzle hair down on my face! I look ridiculous. Mom said I looked like the english sheepdog from the Wile E. Coyote cartoons!

Here I am-still with all my hair in the wrong place-squirming and trying to escape!

Not enough antler time!

Last night I gnawed on my antler all night long! Today I was hoping for more antler time, but no, Mom and Dad went out leaving me all alone in the kitchen-an antler free zone! Finally they came home, but then Mom insisted on taking me on the longest walk ever. We walked and walked. I kept stopping and digging in my claws but she just kept dragging me on. When we got home I still didn't get any antler time! Hopefully tonight will be better!

Finally!

Well, in case you did not know, antlers are like crack cocaine for small wire haired dachshunds. I am only 2 years and 5 months old but I am already on my 5th antler! And Mom and Dad didn't even start me on an antler until I was 1 years old (and had eaten two kitchen chairs!).Two weeks ago, Mom and Dad took my antler away as I had gnawed it down to a small stub with 2 pointy fangs. They were afraid I would eat it, so it was confiscated. This upset me to no end. So for the past two weeks, I have been jonesing for an antler! They don't understand that my other toys can't make up for the deep dark need of an antler to chew.Without the antler, I am lost, alone, sad, angry, bitter ....and that is why I have been SO naughty!

Yesterday was a pretty good day considering it was antler-less. I played in the snow and then my Auntie Joan came over and brought me two squeaky toys! One was green and one was red and they made awesome noises! I was happy to see her nd jumped up to say hello. She played tug of war with me. Then after a while she left, that made me sad again. Then Dad came home. That was a bit exciting. But the best part of the night was that Dad had bought me a new ANTLER! He found my old antler and transferred the power. This time (since I had been without antler for sooooooooo long), I had trouble sitting still and listening. I just wanted that antler. Finally it was ready and I settled down for a long and quiet night of gnawing!

I would also like to agree with my bff Rigby about manners and the cleaning of one's face after a meal or a drink. Unfortunately I am not tall enough to use a couch to wipe off my beard and mustache. (On a quick aside, Mom was very rude to me last night and twirled my mustache into a Salvador Dali-but she said Salvador Dogli- pointy mustache. She was laughing hysterically, but Dad and I were NOT amused!) Instead I like to go get a drink so that my beard is very wet and drippy, then I either a) jump up on Mom to wipe all the water off or b) use Dad's pants leg to wipe off. If they are not available, I get a running start and hurl myself down on the carpet, sliding along until all the moisture is off. This is also effective on drool (like after I've been trying to get that elusive piece of chicken out of the giant kong from Grandma) or on antler paste (although the best method for getting rid of that is to chew my antler on Mom's lap, that way the paste just runs off on her pants) or after a bath or getting cold yucky liquid poured into my ears (which are then massaged-and although I do like a good ear massage, it is much better without the nasty liquid!). 

Secret to my naughtiness

Mom and Dad have finally figured out why I've been so naughty lately. How bad have I been you ask? Let me give you some examples:
1. My Grandpere came over and was very silly as he left things within my reach. I ran around chewing on his beret and then switched to his sneakers.
2. I grabbed Mom's scarf off the middle step (she was very silly to think I wouldn't climb the steps to get it)
3. I grabbed a paper bag out of the garbage and shredded it all over the living room floor.
Why have I been so naughty? Mom and Dad took my antler away! They thought it was too small. But they didn't even get me a new one! Now I have nothing to keep me busy!
     Today when Mom took me outside, there was snow!!!!!!!!!!! She was mean though, she brought me right back inside and then went outside by herself to play! So unfair! Later she brought me outside and I got to say hello to some friends and then run around like crazy in the backyard! I started a new racetrack!

Freshly washed!

Last night Dad tricked me! I was running around, playing with my new toy from Aunt Carol when Dad grabbed me and brought me into the bathroom. Then I got a bath. It was horrible. Water was poured all over me, icky stinky soap was put on me. I was so happy when it was done! But it wasn't. Then Dad grabbed me and poured cold stuff in my ears. After it was all done, I ran around hurling myself on the carpet to dry off and get rid of the clean smells. Then all of a sudden I had a feeling that Mom might be coming home. I ran into the kitchen and stood in front of the door. The door opened and Mom was there! I was very happy to see her (cause she had not given me a bath or cleaned my ears). I chased her all over and yapped at her. When she sat on the couch I jumped up to say hi.