Saving Dad money

Well this has not been one of my better weeks. In fact it has been a horrible week! And it is only Wednesday! It all started Monday. I was running around the living room (weaving in and around the excess furniture that is in there due to something being done in the room we eat in) throwing my antler around and barking at it when it attacked me, when I heard the sound all dogs fear. The sound of water filling a bathtub. I stopped in my tracks and weighed my options. Dad wasn't home yet, Mom was hiding, what could I do to avoid injury. Suddenly Mom stepped out of the kitchen with a treat and my leash. "spazieren gehen?" she said (since I am a german dog, that is how Mom asks if I want to go for a walk-I am bilingual!). I was very excited so I ran to the front door and sat down to wait. Mom came and put my leash on and gave me a treat-pretty awesome, I thought. Then we went outside, I did my thing and came back inside. I thought Mom would take off my leash so I could play again, but no. She pulled me towards the bathroom and everything started to go dark and scary. She dragged me in the bathroom (where water was STILL filling the bathtub) and took off my collar and leash. I knew what was coming next so I used all my puppy superpowers and willed my paws to suction to the floor. Mom tried to pick me up, but I was dead weight and not leaving that floor. "I am a tree with strong roots going way down into the earth!!!", I repeated frantically to myself, "I will not go into THAT bathtub!". Mom has apparently been working out though and finally tore me from the floor and tossed me into the bathtub! I froze in horror as the water was knee high! I tried to pull myself up over the side, but Mom was there, blocking my escape. And then the indignity began. She hosed me down with water and then put nasty smelling shampoo all over my back and bottom. To add insult, she didn't even wash me with her hands! She put on rubber gloves! She then proceeded to really really wash my bottom, legs and paws! It was horrible, painful, and just plain mean! I kept trying to escape but Mom was always in the way! She hosed me off again, and I sensed that maybe this nightmare was over. She pulled the drain and all the water started leaving, then she threw a towel over me and tried to dry me off. Finally she put me down on the ground and opened the bathroom door. I flew out the door and hurled myself on the carpet until I was dry! She gave me a treat after, but it did not make up for the nightmare of what had just happened. The next day started out better. Tuesday was ok and I was very happy when Dad came home. Especially since he put on my leash, grabbed some money that Mom had left by the front door and took me out for a walk. Then we went to the car! I love going for rides! Maybe we're going to buy me some treats I thought! We went to the pet store and all seemed fine, until Dad walked me around to the other door. Uh oh, I thought, this is where bad things happen! We went inside. There was a room filled with scary, tall metal tables with many instruments of torture upon them. The woman there seemed very nice. Dad gave me to her and she put me up on the table. All right, I thought, brace for it! Then she shaved my bottom and what Mom calls my undercarriage. It was all very quick (as I am a small dog with a small yet overly fluffy bottom) and I gave her a lot of kisses as a sign of appreciation. She apparently liked all the attention, cause when Dad asked what he owed her, she said "Don't worry about it, he gave me a lot of kisses". So there you go, I helped save Dad money! Even though it was apparently Mom's money. Then Dad took me inside the pet store where I tried to get a bunch of kids to pet me (sadly they wouldn't) and he bought me a bunch of treats. The treats looked very yummy! Blueberry bones and sweet potato hearts. Mom actually let me have 2 treats when I came home. So there you go, two horrifyingly frightening days. I am hoping for some peace and quiet tonight!