Monday, February 9, 2015

So sorry, NOT!

Mom says that I need to apologize to all my friends at the FSPL, especially Grace. Apparently Mom had made some banana bread for her co-workers, and it is not my fault that she failed to inform me of this fact. She had bundled it up and stuck it in her work bag and then went off to find Dad. I was casually wandering around the living room when I smelled something delicious. Now Mom knows that one of my very important jobs is to inspect any incoming bags. Every time Mom comes back from the supermarket, I make my way into the kitchen to schnuffle through each bag. So really, all I was doing was my job. So once I smelled something yummy, I just had to taste it. I gobbled and gobbled down banana bread until I heard Mom approaching. Not knowing what to do, I fell back into my "I have something I'm not supposed to have" behavior and ran madly about. Mom was confused, because I did  not have anything. So she went into the kitchen to wash dishes. I then gobbled some more until I heard her coming back. Mom came and went to pick up her bag when all of a sudden she realized that she could see the plate that the foil wrapped banana bread was on. That was when I got in trouble. She yelled at me and stuck me in the kitchen with Bastille. And then she told me that I was getting my bottom shaved later! Does she not know how cold it is outside? Now I will have a cold bottom!
    I should probably tell everyone how yesterday started out great, but then went downhill quickly. Mom grabbed Bastille early yesterday morning and took him into the "BATHROOM"! Ha, I thought to myself, Bastille is very stinky and he must be getting a bath! So I listened outside the door but all I could hear was water. I had to wait until he came out to find out all about it. I'll let him tell you.
   It was quite rude of Mecki not to warn me that I was going to get a bath! I was happy that Mom was taking off my collar and harness-I thought that it was bedtime! But no. We went into the bathroom and Mom stuck me in a tub of warm water and then sprayed me with water! My eyes are bulgy to  begin with, but they almost popped out of my head in horror! She covered me with stinky puppy oatmeal shampoo and scrubbed me so hard that I thought my spots would disappear (but they didn't). Then she stuck me in a towel and rubbed me all over. Then I thought I would be able to go play after such indignity, but no, she stuck me back in my pen. And I could see Mecki smirking in the corner by the pantry.
   Sadly, later in the afternoon, Mom dragged me into the bathtub. I get the special shampoo that has to stay on for 10 minutes, then the creme rinse has to stay on for 10 minutes. All in all, it is a horrible 1/2 hour of my life that I can never get back. Mom tried to dry me off, but my wire coat takes a looooooong time to dry. I usually help it along by running full steam down the hallway and then hurling myself onto the carpet and sliding along sticking all the excess water into the carpet. Mom does not appreciate it and Grand-pere thought I was having a fit! Finally I was relatively dry, just in time to go outside where I tried to get Mom to let me off the leash so that I could roll in the snow!

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